We get it. The whole time you knew your partner you missed them in bed when they weren’t here, but now that they’re here, well, it’s not what you expected. Whether it’s the snoring or the tossing around or if they’re on their phone with the volume up while you just want to sleep, it’s hardly the night full of cuddling and affection you imagined.
First, let us debunk some of the myths the media has spread about sharing a bed with your partner. There’s no overnight cuddling involved. In fact, you’re likely to get some serious aches if you try. It’s natural human nature to move around a little when you’re asleep, and that naturally means you can’t stay in the sma embrace the whole night.
And you don’t have to necessarily share a bed. If it suits you both more to have your own space, especially if you both have different routines and sleep at different times, there’s no harm in that. But if you feel like you can make the whole bed sharing thing work, keep reading for some useful tips.
Is Your Mattress Right For You?
Not every couple has the same preferences or even the same go-to sleeping position. If you’ve been having trouble sleeping in your partner’s bed or they’ve been having trouble sleeping in yours, it may be because the mattress just isn’t right.
The most common issue people have while sleeping on a new mattress is that it’s not the right firmness level for you or your partner. In fact, if you look for a mattress for couples online, you’ll find that a lot of them keep this in mind in their designs, and that many mattresses for couples are air mattresses. That’s because you can adjust the firmness levels for air mattresses at two different settings for two halves of it, which means that both you and your partner get what you want.
Alternatively, you can buy a new mattress that you both feel is a good compromise between your preferred mattress types. This will make a huge difference in the quality of sleep you both get.
Take Late Nights Outside
If you don’t feel sleepy or wake up during the middle of the night and don’t feel like going to bed yet, take your electronics or your book and step out of the room. This will keep your partner from being distubed while they sleep, and allow you the room you need to move around and do as you please while you’re up.
Many people like to stay in bed at night, where the glare from their phones or the shuffling wakes their partners up. If you avoid this habit, your partner will feel more comfortable and have a deeper sleep.
Motion Isolation in Mattresses
One of the biggest reasons people have trouble sleeping at night with their partners is because their beds have poor motion isolation. The slightest movement at one side of the bed makes the whole thing shake, which results in some serious disturbance for the other party involved.
Even if your partner is in a deep sleep, it’s unlikely that they don’t move at all, which is why it’s important that you invest in a good mattress with motion isolation.
Do You Sleep at Different Times?
If you and your partner have different circadian rhythms, or if one of you is a morning person and the other isn’t it’s important to be considerate of each other’s natural clocks. If your partner craves company and you’re not sleepy yet, you can lay in bed with them until they fall asleep and then go about your day as usual.
Learn to work around each other’s natural schedules instead of forcing one or the other to fall asleep at a time they don’t feel sleepy at. With time, your sleep schedules will both adjust to each other and you’ll have less trouble.
Allowing lots of daylight inside your home during the day and making sure your room is dark at bedtime are great ways to make sure you both feel sleepy at the right time.
Moving in with your partner is always a big adjustment. You’ll both need to be patient and understanding with one another and give yourself time to adjust to the change, but remember! Taking your time to adjust and get used to things is natural and expected.
The Healthy Voyager, aka Carolyn Scott-Hamilton, is the creator and host of The Healthy Voyager web series, site, and overall brand. An award winning healthy, special diet and green living and travel expert, holistic nutritionist, plant based vegan chef, best-selling cookbook author, media spokesperson, sought after speaker, consultant and television personality, Carolyn Scott-Hamilton is a respected figure in the world of healthy lifestyle and travel as well as special diet cooking and nutrition. The Healthy Voyager aims to help people live well, one veggie at a time!
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We get it. The whole time you knew your partner you missed them in bed when they weren’t here, but now that they’re here, well, it’s not what you expected. Whether it’s the snoring or the tossing around or if they’re on their phone with the volume up while you just want to sleep, it’s hardly the night full of cuddling and affection you imagined. 
