Having a different libido than your partner doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. We’re all diverse and have various individual needs, and sex is one of them. But if you and your partner have sexual desire differences, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something about it.
Keep in mind that sex significantly affects every relationship, and yours is no exception. Understanding your needs is vital to make sure you and your partner stay happy and satisfied.
And what to do when your partner wants more or less sex than you do? Let’s find out.
Consider Your Options
The list of intimate and sexual activities is so long that trying different options instead of constant intercourse can be a fantastic way to find a compromise. If your partner has lower libido, consider massages, touching, kissing, or hugging as a form of intimacy.
And if your partner wants to go further, let them masturbate while you touch them. That way, you’ll both be satisfied.
You can also help your partner a bit by lending your hand or your mouth. You don’t have to be an expert in oral sex to give each other pleasure, it’s not a necessity in a happy relationship.
Keep in mind that if you’re not comfortable with something, you should immediately say that to your partner. Nevertheless, trying different ways of intimate contact can be a solution to your troubles.
Talk With Each Other
People often underestimate the importance of an honest conversation. And while it may not solve all your problems immediately, it should be the first thing you do when you notice your sexual differences.
An honest talk with your partner about your needs is crucial to understand and learn more about each other. Because there are times that you’re in a mood of intimacy vs isolation. A physical intimacy that includes physical sensations such as touching, hugging, and sex. On the other hand, isolation is what those in the intimacy vs isolation stage struggle with. This struggle can manifest in a myriad of ways. Sometimes, the fear that nobody understands us can paralyze us from taking the necessary steps to connect.
If you want your relationship to last, you need to learn how to talk about certain subjects, and sex is one of them.
Be Patient
Sexual needs may differ, especially when you’ve just started dating somebody. Your partner may want to take things slow if they’re shy or uncomfortable about going intimate.
Or maybe the situation is the opposite, and you need some time to get things going. No matter what’s the case, you need to be patient and take your time. Maybe as your relationship enters another phase, there’s going to be a breakthrough?
Some people need more time to get intimate, and forcing them to do something they don’t want will only make matters worse. Sometimes the excellent idea is to take sex off the table for a while and take steady steps towards it.
See a Therapist
But if you’ve talked things out, tried different ways of getting intimate, and there are still no signs of a positive change? It would help if you considered seeing a therapist who’ll be able to find a psychological block in your or your partner’s head.
Sometimes the issue may be rooted deep, and talking with your significant other may not solve it. Seeing a therapist is a must if you notice that things are not working correctly, even after you’ve tried fixing them.
Sex therapists will offer you suggestions and ways to solve your sex problems and make you or your partner feel more comfortable about getting intimate.
Consider an Open Relationship
Sometimes the case may be that yours or your partner’s sexual needs are too high. If that’s the case, you may rethink monogamy, and consider opening your relationship.
It may sound extreme, but being sexually open with other people might be just what your relationship needs. Also, keep in mind that polygamy doesn’t have to affect your relationship negatively.
As long as you stay honest and create a set of rules you’re going to stick to, everything should work out perfectly. Bear in mind that having sex with somebody else doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t love you anymore.
Conclusion
Having different sexual needs than your partner is nothing you should feel ashamed about, and the same goes the opposite way. You need to understand your partner and respect their opinion and desires.
Different libidos are not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean that you have to break up. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to do something about it either.
There are plenty of ways to improve your sex life. Consider all your options, try them out, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a specialist.
And if all fails, ask yourself a question about how important is sex for you and your relationship. If you genuinely love each other but can’t find any consensus, try to accept the situation.
So, eat the right foods, start exercising, avoid alcohol, quit smoking, try to spice things up with sex toys and try to destress as much as possible, which will increase your libido and create a healthier, happier body.
But if sex is something you can’t imagine your relationship without, then maybe you weren’t destined for each other.
4 comments
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