Radical Sabbatical: Meet Nancy B. Irwin, Stand-Up Comic Turned Psychotherapist

YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN LIFE
by Dr. Nancy B. Irwin

Originally from Atlanta, I was trained as an opera singer. I earned my Master of Music in Opera Performance at Georgia State University, and wanted to be the next Joan Sutherland. “I have a good voice, but a professional opera singer must evoke richer adjectives than “good.”

Still, I wasn’t ready to leave the stage. So when a local theatre critic praised my comedic talents, I decided to take him up on his dare and move to New York City, performing stand-up at dead-end clubs while securing some forgettable acting gigs on the side. Slowly my act caught on, the rooms got bigger (I opened for Tanya Tucker and the Oak Ridge Boys) and my dreams grew right along with them. Like any self-respecting comic, I was ready to front my own sitcom. That meant moving to Los Angeles in 1994. Besides, I heard Hollywood needed more blondes.

I enjoyed some success in L.A. working the clubs, doing some television and even touring Korea, where I entertained U.S. military troops. I became the staff emcee at the famous Improv, working alongside such acts as Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano and Damon Wayans. I had a lot of great times but found I had too much time on my hands, most of which I spent obsessing over my lack of a sitcom deal.

When you are a comic, you only work about 30 minutes a day, so began volunteering at the Children of the Night, a shelter for sexually abused teenagers. It changed my life. For one thing, it led me to truly begin healing from the sexual abuse I suffered as an adolescent. And it led to a career epiphany.

My self-worth had been completely dependent on my last set, my last audition, or how good a hair day it was for me. Those kids reminded me what really mattered.  Suddenly, I didn’t feel like I had to prove anything to anyone anymore. That had always been the driving force behind my stand-up career; not the healthiest motivation for a career in entertainment, though quite a common one. So I went back to school, earning a doctorate in psychology, specializing in the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse.

The road from comedy to mental health is very short, indeed. I now treat half the people I used to share the stage with!  As different as the two vocations may seem, the transition from comedian to mental health professional was actually pretty seamless. I use my humor, when appropriate, in my healing, and my clientele includes many entertainers, athletes, and celebrities.

I remain indebted to Children of the Night for freeing me from the narcissistic, insecure wannabe that I was, while also awakening the healer inside me. From that I’ve developed the conviction that we are all born to win. We learn to fail, and whatever we learn we can unlearn, which is were I come in as a psychotherapist.  I deal with clients suffering from all sorts of personal issues in my private practice, but my mission is to heal the sexually abused. Treating sex offenders in particular thrills me, as it is my belief that the best way to help victims is to help the perpetrators.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that it is never too late, which is the thrust of my nonfiction YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE (Amazon, 2008).  When I went back to school at age 44, so many people peppered me with questions like: “How old will you be when you finish your degree?”  My answer was always the same: “Same age I’ll be if I don’t!”   So be prepared to deflect others’ negative beliefs as you steer your new course. Keep reminding yourself of the “why” behind your pursuit. Write your personal mission statement, and keep it closely to help bolster you when the inevitable obstacles and challenges arise. Surround yourself with a positive, encouraging support system, and by all means take care of your health.

Remember that change is inevitable; you can either effect it or accept it.

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Dr. Nancy Irwin is in private practice in Los Angeles, CA, and also works for Pacific Professional Associates, a non-profit clinic in Van Nuys, CA where she treats sex offenders.  She can be reached at [email protected]. You can also visit her website, www.drnancyirwin.com or www.makea-you-turn.com.