The spectre of cancer touches far too many lives, leaving families devastated by the news that a loved one has been diagnosed.
This is a time in when someone needs the love and support of family and friends to see them through this difficult and often traumatic period in their life.
Sometimes, it can be the case that a friend is able to offer the sort of support that a family member cannot, so if you know someone who is fighting cancer, they might be in need of your healing powers.
That’s what friends are for
Support is the key word in a difficult situation involving a friend, and if it is Breast Cancer Support needed or any other form of cancer that needs to be battled and overpowered, there are plenty of positive ways to show what a true friend you are.
A cancer patient will often be in need of a mixture of help, encouragement and support, and there is plenty of research around that confirms what a positive role friends can play in the recovery process.
It can sometimes be the case that when you hear the news that a friend has got cancer, you instantly want to help, but don’t always know the best way to respond to this distressing information. Do you give them some space to come to terms with their situation or do you just put yourself out there from day one?
The answer to those questions is mainly based on the relationship you have with your friend and the family support network available to them.
Even when they have family around them to help them cope as best as possible, there are always plenty of ways you can help as a friend.
Plenty of face time
There are many cancer patients who say that cancer can be a very isolating experience, which is why your friendship can be so important, as you are able to offer a welcome distraction as well as providing practical assistance in addition to emotional support.
Running errands, picking up and looking after kids, cleaning and tidying, are just some things you can do to help out and keep their life as normal as possible in the circumstances.
It can often be best to call before you visit just to be sure that they are ready to see you. Always be understanding and prepared for having to leave at a moment’s notice, for instance, if your friends family or a caregiver is there at the same time.
Plenty of face time is often welcomed, but short and regular visits are normally the order of the day, rather than staying for hours or visiting infrequently. Cancer affects people in many different ways, and your friend might not be as talkative as usual, but nevertheless, might be in need of your company.
It is also important to try and maintain the sort of normality that existed in your friendship before their cancer diagnosis. If you usually hug and kiss when meeting up, carry on with that level of contact where possible, as it can help.
Keeping your own emotions and opinions in check
Although you certainly wouldn’t want to upset your friend in any way when you come to visit them, there are some ways to avoid this sort of scenario, by keeping your emotions under control and thinking about what you say.
It should be remembered that cancer can often take a toll on the personal appearance of your friend, and they may change in some way almost every time you see them. Weight changes, tiredness and hair loss are all very common side effects associated with cancer and their respective treatments, which means that your friend may look very tired and as sick as they are when you visit them.
Commenting on any noticeable physical changes is best avoided, and getting upset by their appearance is understandable, but not helpful, so try to prepare yourself beforehand, so that you can walk in upbeat and simply tell them how good it is to see them.
It can be difficult to know what topic of conversation to pursue with your friend, and many do worry about what they are supposed to say to someone with cancer.
The simple answer is to gauge their feelings, let them express negative emotions if that is how they feel at that point, then just try to talk to them in the normal way and carry on offering the hand of friendship, even if you don’t always get the response you expect each time.
Beth Kling in the Communications Director at SHARE Cancer Support, a non-profit organization founded in 1976 that is dedicated to building a network and community for women affected by breast and ovarian cancer.
2 comments
This article speaks volumes to me as someone whose father was diagnosed with intestinal cancer and eventually laid to rest. Friends and family often have good intentions, but don’t know how to actually help. This article does a good job in outlining how to actually make an impact. Thanks for the share.
Brandon Roch,
Owner at Personal Training Rochester
Thank you very much for this article you wrote .. everything I wondered about is quite clear.