Life after divorce isn’t likely something you have put much thought into. After all, most people don’t get married with the intention of it not being benign forever. But despite this, 41% of first marriages end in divorce, while third marriages have the highest divorce rate of 71%.
So while “till death do us part” might be something you utter with conviction at your nuptials, sadly, this isn’t the case for every union, and many Americans find themselves looking at life post-divorce and wondering where they go next.
Accept Its Over
As mentioned, no one goes into marriage thinking about divorce, or at least they shouldn’t be. But no matter how confident you are that your marriage will go the distance for many couples, this isn’t the case.
Accepting that things are over and it didn’t work out is part and parcel of the divorce process, and if you don’t, it can hold you back and prevent you from moving on.
Avoid being too hung up on what things were like; accept that the marriage is no more, how it went wrong, and that things look different for you now. Then, you can begin the process of picking up the pieces and moving on.
Get Legal Advice
While you likely had legal representation for the actual divorce, it can be a good idea to talk to a lawyer about your estate. For example, neglecting to make changes to your will can have massive implications, especially if you or the other party end up getting married again. Get estate planning advice, ensure that all details are up to date, all connections between you and your former spouse have been untied (except for the case of children), and that things are organized so you can move ahead with the rest of your life.
Reconnect with Yourself
Now is the ideal time to discover who you are and what you want from life. It might be that you married young and have never lived your adult life as a single person, and you need to figure this out for yourself. Or you might divorce later in life, and you need to figure out who you are outside of your relationship and what you want from life.
Take some time to evaluate yourself, your interests, likes, dislikes, and ultimately, what is possible for you now. Try new things, learn something, fail at something, experiment. There is no right or wrong way to reconnect with yourself and find out who you are now and what you want the rest of your life to look like,
Talk To Someone
It can be family, friends, or a therapist if you prefer. And you don’t even need to be struggling to seek therapy, either. Talking to someone can be therapeutic and also a good way of getting a different perspective on life, on yourself, and on what is possible for you now.
If you’re feeling a bit lost or stuck, then connecting with someone who can help you talk things through and look at what your options are can be extremely beneficial. Whether this is over a bottle of wine with your best friend, a counselor, or a divorce support group, talk to someone; you never know, and you might end up helping someone else, too, in the process.
