We all want to be healthy, and we all believe that outcomes are more likely to be achieved if we plan – and yet these two pieces of wisdom are often not put together.
That’s not to say we don’t come up with schemes for getting fit, taking more rest or eating better. We do – some of us over and over again. But we don’t really plan them properly; instead we just formulate them and then try and force ourselves to keep to them.
The classic example is the New Year’s Resolution, which usually ends up in the bin after a few weeks. This usually takes the form of a determination to do something like going for a short run every day after work (or something similar). After a week or so, compelling reasons get in the way (snow, deadlines, dog eating homework – create your own excuse), and once broken, the cycle seems to lose its power. Gyms make a fortune from annual memberships sold in the first week of January and not used after about mid-February.
One response to this backsliding is to then beat ourselves up for being so pathetic. However this tends to create more stress than health. It might lead to a few, rather grudging jogs round the park, but the magic never comes back, and sometimes we avoid making any further commitments, as we feel so guilty for all the broken promises we made to ourselves in the past.
To me, this is an example of poor planning. Planning isn’t about setting a long-term goal and implacably insisting on it. It is much more short-term and flexible. I encourage clients to plan week by week. This does not mean resetting goals every seven days, but it does mean looking at the realities of the week ahead and working out where you can fit in your diary the actions needed to bring your lasting goals about. In making these plans, you will still have to make health a priority, but you can do so with more finesse. That way, the exercise programme actually has a greater chance of lasting. You will have bought into it at a much deeper level; rather than imposing it on yourself (which a part of you will resent), you are choosing it.
I often say to clients, ‘If you arranged to meet someone for lunch would you show up?’ The answer is always a bemused, ‘Yes, of course’. I then ask them, ‘If you made a date with yourself, would you show up?’ The answer here is usually a guilty shake of the head. If giving yourself some time is a priority for you, then you simply need to get into the habit of putting it in your diary just like any other appointment. Soon enough, it will become natural to do so.
Robbie Steinhouse is the founder of NLP School and author of various books, including How to Coach with NLP. He regularly runs courses on How to Coach with NLP, TA and Mindfulness – for details of the next one, please go to the NLP School site.
