If you are anything like me you can remember a time when everything in the world revolved around what your dad did and what you dad said.
As a little girl I would wait patiently to hear what he had to say on a subject before ever making a decision or doing anything of any importance.
However, at some point this changed. I checked with my girlfriends and most of them could relate to this too, so it’s not just me!
At some point daddy dearest went from being a wise and guiding force in my life to someone who I viewed as more of a hindrance to the natural flow and order or my life.
It took me many years (most of my thirties) to resolve the conflict with my dad and it is a time that I don’t look back on with fond memories.
All is well and good now but I often think about the wasted time we spent, over a period of years, arguing and clashing about the silliest of things.
I have spent a long time reflecting on this and I have come up with 4 distinct tips that you can use to ensure that your relationship with your own father runs a lot smoother than mine.
Even if you are already arguing or clashing these tips can be useful so take note and really take some time to read and understand them.
It will save you a ton of time and heartache in the long run.
Trust me.
Set Clear Boundaries
The single biggest source of arguments and disputes often arose for me when it came to boundaries. These are the invisible guidelines that you like to live your life by and if like me, when these lines are crossed you become angry.
You can only be annoyed at someone if you have clearly told them what these boundaries are. If they still choose to cross these lines then you are entitled to feel annoyed.
However you must also accept the fact that your dad is not a mind reader and unless you tell him exactly what your personal boundaries are then you should not be surprised when he crosses them time and time again.
Clear communication is key to setting effective and respected boundaries with your dad.
Offer to Help
Even if he says no, the simple gesture of offering to help your dad out will go a long way to improving your relationship.
He might be stubborn and proud but secretly he will be pleased that you thought enough of him to offer to help him out.
Think of all the times he has been there for you and helped you with your struggles. The least you can do is offer to help him with a job he has to do or even just offer to buy him lunch.
Small gestures like these go a long, long way to improving the relationship you have with your dad.
Never Forget His Birthday
This might seem like an obvious one, but if like me your relationship was strained with your dad, it can be all too easy to forget his big day.
This can be disastrous for your relationship and can undo a lot of good work and bridge building which you may have been doing. Make a point of writing it in your diary or on a wall planner and never forget your dad’s birthday.
Avoid Flash Point Topics
My final tip and perhaps the most important of all is to actively avoid conversation topics that you know will end in an argument.
Your dad is entitled to his opinions on the world and it is highly likely that those opinions will differ greatly from yours.
If you know that there are major issues that you both will simply never agree on then make a conscious decision to avoid these topics like the plague.
Why waste time and energy arguing about issues that will only make both of you unhappy and at the end of the day actually have very little impact on the world.
Sure, he might think that Donald Trump is the greatest leader ever but what does arguing about that with him really add to your relationship?
Take my advice and apply these 4 tips to your life today and you will instantly feel an improvement in the relationship you have with your dad.
