The Beatles sure got it wrong on this one…
Have you ever had to break up with someone or been broken up with and out of disbelief of what happened, you or your partner pleaded “but I love you!” in an effort for the relationship to not come to an end? It’s probably happened to you at some point in your life and it wasn’t easy. That’s because love by itself is never going to be enough to sustain a healthy and long lasting relationship. The fact that you’re willing to stay with someone because you love them and are in love with them is only the tip of the iceberg.
To be in a healthy, happy, and committed relationship, it’s going to take more than that four-letter word… it requires skills like understanding, compassion, compromise, sacrifice, and communication. It requires all of those things in addition to love because life will throw curveballs at you and as a couple, you have to face them together and you want and need to do it as a strong couple… Things like death, finances, marriage, parenthood, and temptation are all things that can make or break any relationship, no matter how in love you are with your partner… that’s why love indeed isn’t all you need.
In Addition to Love, What Else Do You Need?
The answer to this question isn’t going to be a single answer because no relationship is a one size fits all. The things that work in one couple’s relationship may not work in another couple’s relationship, so you have to take things case by case. But there are some major components that every relationship will need to be successful and find happiness…
In fact, it’s these components, in addition to love, that will have your boyfriend shopping for an diamond engagement ring! If you someday want to walk down the aisle to spend your forever with your love, make sure your relationship will even make it to that point. Take a look at the other major components that a happy and healthy relationship requires.
In Addition to Love, You Need Trust
Regardless of how you love and are in love you are with your partner, if you can’t trust them, then the relationship will never work. The true happiness and health of your relationship are dependent on if you can trust your partner or not… without trust, you’ll just be in a relationship worrying and hurting the entire time and that’s no way to live.
Mistrust in your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that things have to end but it is something that you and your partner need to actively work on if you want the relationship to work. If you work at it, the relationship will get there over time but you both have to be willing to put in the work.
In Addition to Love, You Need Respect
How many times have you found yourself or a friend discussing someone else’s relationship and thought that person was so stupid for staying with that person? Apparently, the person stayed with their terrible partner because they love them… We’ve all had those types of discussions before but you never want your relationship to be the subject for that type of conversation.
You can’t help who you love but love isn’t a justifiable reason for disrespect. People love people who are wrong for them all the time and it’s because they’ve been blinded by what an abusive partner is telling them what love is and what it looks like. Love shouldn’t hurt and it shouldn’t make you look like a fool either.
In Addition to Love, You Need Happiness
Did you know that being in a healthy and happy relationship has great health benefits? Your self-esteem gets a nice boost, your stress levels are reduced, and sometimes people find motivation within themselves to get physically active to look good for their partner. Now happiness is something that you’re not always going to experience in your relationship because no relationship is perfect but generally speaking, you should be happy with the one you’re with.
Put it like this, you’re not always going to be happy but if you look at your overall relationship, you should have way more happy times than bad times. Not all people who love each other are happy together and that’s the last thing you want… that’s just going through the motions of an unsatisfying relationship.
In Addition to Love, You Need to Like Each Other
Loving someone and liking someone are two things that don’t always come hand in hand… in a relationship, you want it to but it doesn’t always work out that way. Have you ever loved someone but not like them? This rule applies to family and friends but it can definitely apply to a relationship. People get in these relationships and stay with someone for years before realizing that they love their partner but don’t really like them.
It happens all the time. You may have a sibling that you love dearly but you don’t like them. In a relationship, it can be harder to recognize this because you’re blinded by love. If you can genuinely enjoy someone’s company even while doing absolutely nothing, you not only love that person, you actually like them.
In Addition to Love, You Need Good Communication Skills
According to a study done by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, lack of communication was one of the top reasons why couples’ marriages ended in divorce. For some people, communicating can be one of the most difficult things in the world. Even communicating something as simple as not liking your partner’s cooking… instead of dealing with confrontation, people would rather just not say anything at all and continue on as if nothing’s wrong.
Being able to openly communicate with your partner is what’s going to keep your relationship alive. Your communication should be open to anything too. From how your partner makes you feel (good and bad) to expressing your emotions. There shouldn’t be anything too big or too small for you to talk about with your partner. Open communication is key.
