Relationships are never plain sailing. It’s in their nature to be turbulent and difficult at times, but when is the right time to call it quits, and how do you make that life-altering decision? In this post, we look at some of the signs to look out for and what you need to understand before calling time on it.
When to Stay
Researchers have found that people are creatures of habit when it comes to staying in relationships. Even though a relationship may not be going to plan and partners feel unfulfilled in one area or another, the chances of them staying in that relationship are still very high. Other factors come into play, such as comfort and convenience. In short, it takes more effort to leave a relationship than stay. It may be that the reasons for leaving are stronger than the reasons for staying to break a couple up.
Another reason why people tend to stay in a relationship, even though it may be unsatisfying, is due to mixed feelings. When couples discuss ending a relationship, they often think about what life will be like without their partner, which leads to feelings of fondness and memories. People experience a simultaneous motivation to end the relationship as well as a motivation to keep it going. Coupled with other factors such as convenience and comfort, this often leads to staying together.
Thoughts and Behaviors
Studies have shown that the reasons people leave in or stay relationships is often very different to the reasons stated for staying or leaving. For example, someone might state they want to end a relationship due to unfulfilled or dissatisfaction, but in the end, they leave because there is an alternative dating partner or perhaps they choose not to leave. What the study shows is that reasons people give for staying or leaving a relationship are often poor indicators of the relationship result.
Inside Vs Outside
Relationship studies indicate strongly that people differ in their reason for leaving a relationship depending on whether they decide to stay or leave. Those who decide to stay in relationships often state internal relationship factors for staying. This includes satisfaction, love, commitment, etc. Those who decided to leave, conversely, stated external factors for leaving such as alternative partners. Again, the reasons for leaving had to be stronger than the reasons for staying.
When to Leave
Leaving a relationship is a very personal decision, and only you will be able to decide when is the right time, but there are some best practices for helping during those tough times, including a domestic violence lawyer. It is often hard to know if you are just going through a bad patch or if it’s time to leave for good. Take some time to consider it carefully, talk to someone about it. If you don’t have a close friend dial a helpline number. One thing to remember is never to make any rash decisions, especially while emotional. Take a step back and look at things objectively.