The sexual aspect of relationships is really important, even though some people act like it does not matter at all. Sexual incompatibility happens in long-term relationships, and it is a common problem. People tend to act like it is not normal, and they do not want to talk about it. The cycle of sorrow, anger, or blaming starts. Remember that mismatched libidos do not have to be the end of intimacy. There are many reasons our libidos go up and down, including physical illnesses, stressors, medications, or fluctuations in hormones.
Before you decide to finish your relationship, think if there is any way to overcome the problem. Even though the perception of it may differ, considering the psychological approach to the life issue of men and women, it is always worth considering what has created such a situation. Some people, usually – men, can find a satisfying solution in porn or in more atypical way dolls. sexdoll.com may be a quick solution, but there are more advanced ways to cope with sexual incompatibility.
Talk about it
The conversation is always a good move, even if the situation is really stressful. If you do not want to have sex for whatever reason, you need to speak up about it. It may be difficult at first, as the partner may feel hurt. If you have a longterm relationship, you should both have a high understanding of each other. Try to talk about it as gentle as possible, but straight to the point. You should consider all the possible causes of incompatibility. For example, if you take medications, it is highly probable that they affect your hormones. Contact the gynecologist and ask if it is possible to change the brand of birth control pills. If you feel that the problem may be connected with your partner’s behavior, tell him or her about it. Just talk, talk, and talk!
When you are exhausted or overwhelmed with the work or problems, the level of a hormone called cortisol increases. It influences your emotions, behavior, and functioning. You can make a list of stressors in your life. They have a huge impact on sex life. It affects the willingness to have sex, the feelings while making love, and overall tension connected with this area of life. It is worth taking a minute or two for these considerations because it will boost your well-being. In some cases, physical and mental stressors can even lead to painful intercourse such as Vaginismus. When this happens, therapy, relaxation techniques and the use of vaginal trainers are often recommended by sex therapists. Stressors can have a huge impact so it is worth taking a minute or two for these considerations because it will boost your well-being.
Identify what turns you on
It is a good idea to think about things that turn your or your partner on. To have a happy and pleasant sex-life, you should always keep in mind yours and your partner’s needs. Sometimes the routine is a problem that affects the erotic part of life. You should talk about the moves of your partner, which are the most pleasurable, your fantasies, or future plans connected with sex. Create an atmosphere where you can talk about it without any discomfort or shame. It is your relationship, and it all depends on you two. Purchase of new, sexy lingerie is not that crazy and unusual, so it is worth considering spending some money to make your partner feel more into it. If you do not feel confident with your body, you can just try to have dirty little talks.
Find other ways to be with your partner
Having an intimate relationship does not mean that you need to have sex all the time. The real intimacy can be created by various other behaviors. Go on a date, remind yourself of Times when you have started your relationship. Give yourself a fresh look, buy new clothes and enjoy the beautiful evening with your partner! But remember, you do not have to spend any money to get closer to the love of your life. Cook the dinner together, go for a long walk, make a movie night, or make a picnic in your garden! Not everything has to end on having sex!
Understand that sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of
One of the causes of this problem may be in your psyche. For example, if you are raised in a family where sex is taboo, there is nothing wrong with feeling more insecure about it. You should talk about your feelings with your partner. Thanks to this, he or she will be able to help you with overcoming this issue. If something that your partner does makes you uncomfortable, tell him/her about it.
Think about therapy
If you still feel like all the things you do, do not meet imagined effects, it is worth to consider going to the professional therapist. A sexologist is a psychologist with a wide knowledge of human erotic emotions and behaviors. The therapist will listen to all the problems, both from your and your partner’s perspective. He or she will not tell you that doing this and that you will, for sure, overcome the problem. The therapist will help you to understand the psychological background of the incompatibility.
Remember that everyone is different, and sometimes it is a good idea to hear the opinion of a person who is not as subjective as your friends.