Being Used: Tips to Tell When He is Seeing You Just to Pass the Time

How can you tell if he’s ready to commit or if he’s just not that into you?   No one wants to feel used yet new relationships can be confusing unless there is an established trust and honesty.  Is he seeing you because he sees a future or is he just passing the time?  There are ways to tell.

Frank Honesty

A guy who is considering a future with you is not afraid to show his cards.  He should be willing to do what it takes to nurture the relationship and allow it to evolve.  Those who are just into having flings or just want to have sex will avoid such conversations or just tell you what they think you want to hear.  You can’t be a human lie detector but guys who are interested in having a future with you will be more willing to talk about it.

Upcoming Plans

A guy who just wants to have fun in the moment won’t talk about going on trips or going to a concert next month.  He may not even talk about seeing you beyond the immediate date.  However, those who genuinely enjoy your company and want to be in a relationship will talk about future dates, vacations, and lend you DVDs, records, clothing, assuming he will be seeing you again.

Keen Observation

Guys that are into you will pay closer attention to your quirks and preferences and want to know more about you.  A guy who is only into you for the moment will tell you the general things girls want to hear (how good you look, how cool you are, etc).  Also, a guy who is interested will tell you things about him.  He will want you to know more about him because he feels comfortable with you and wants to further the level of intimacy.

Premeditated Time and Place

A guy who just wants to have fun will give you a call when he’s already out at the bar and nothing else seems to be going on.  A guy who is interested will be open to hanging out with you whenever, since you are first priority.  Also, a guy who just wants to have fun will likely ask to get drinks and be social while a guy who likes you will want to spend quality time with you doing activities, going to places you like, etc.

Welcomed Friends and Family

It’s more than awkward for a first date or within the first couple weeks of the relationship, but eventually a guy who is interested will want to meet your family.  A guy who just wants a casual relationship won’t be interested in meeting your friends or family.  He’ll just think in the moment and not about anything that is a regular or ongoing part of your world.

Remembered Sentiments

As mentioned, a guy who is into you will ask questions about you and then remember them.  For example, if you love peanut butter cookies, it’s likely he’ll order you one for dessert or bring some over to your house.  Guys who just want to have sex or have no long-term aspirations won’t waste their time in remembering what you like because they won’t need to.

Heartfelt Discussion

A guy who likes you will feel comfortable with you, enough that he’ll let you know if something is bothering him or if he is having a bad day.  A guy who is not into you will not confide in you and will keep things relatively topical.  If he doesn’t want to be around you in the future, he won’t make himself emotionally available.

Quality Time

A guy who likes you will want to meet you out, even for a brief time.  A guy who just wants a fling is likely to want to get you drunk or lure you back to his house, signs he’ll never commit.  Moreover, a guy who grows restless about getting you alone is likely to just want to have sex rather than wait and spend quality time with you.

The Desired Label

If you like a guy, you’ll want him to refer to you as his “girlfriend.”  It will happen randomly and naturally, being a reflection of his genuine thoughts of you.  A guy who is not that into you will introduce you by name and is likely to keep somewhat of an intimate distance around others, especially his friends, as not to give the impression that you’re a couple.

A Set Trend

A transient person will be whimsical about several things in his life.  He may live day-to-day regarding where he lives, his choice in friends, and his career.  If he is a “keeper,” he is likely to have established goals and a vision of the future.  He may not be immediately satisfied about where he is in relation to where he wants to be, yet he is happy and thinks about future stability.

Summer O’Donnell is a relationship expert and enjoys using her articles as a way to empower women. Her articles appear on relationship and women’s lifestyle sites.