If your relationship has ended, you’ll go through a difficult time – whether you are the one who ended it or not. A breakup is a loss, and you may feel overwhelmed by many conflicting feelings. A breakup may not only break your heart, but it can also force you to make changes in your life. To get through the challenges that are a natural part of a breakup, here are some guidelines that may be helpful.
1. Feel Your Feelings
You may want to escape the flood of feelings because they will feel so negative. However, according to Silk and Sonder, feeling those feelings – even those that make you cry – is an essential part of healing from the loss of your relationship. Giving someone your love makes them part of your life, and no longer having that person in your life will be an adjustment – even if you can admit the breakup is for the best. If you continue to postpone feeling your sadness, it will make the grieving process harder to bounce back from.
2. Make Healthy Choices
While it’s understandable for you to eat a pint of ice cream or have a few drinks the day after your breakup, don’t allow yourself to make those choices a habit. You need to take care of yourself, and making healthy choices about food and alcohol will reinforce the idea that you’re worth caring for. Too many treats or drinks will add to your temptation to deny your pain.
3. Choose Constructive Activities
Put your energy into activities that allow you to create or build something. Those types of activities can be symbolic of the “mending” you’re doing for your life. If you want a constructive activity with a “bonus,” try landscaping. After all, statistics show that if you need to sell your home, landscaping can add almost 15% to the home’s resale value.
4. Set Social Media Boundaries
While it may be a temptation to “stalk” your ex on Facebook, it’s not suitable for your mental health if you dwell on their posts. You probably know social media doesn’t always tell the whole truth. Another reason to avoid their page is that establishing emotional distance from your ex means their life is no longer intertwined with yours. It may be essential for your mental health to “unfriend” – or even block – your exes’ social media accounts.
5. Don’t Give Up Hope
No one is perfect, and if you look at your past relationship objectively, you may admit you made some mistakes. However, even though that’s true, don’t let that lead you to think you’ll never succeed at romance. It may be time to remind yourself that, in Western countries (including the U.S.), over 90% of people will get married before age 50. When enough time has passed, you’ll be able to face the dating scene again, and perhaps your next relationship will lead you to The One.
6. Get Help from a Professional
The heartbreak from a breakup shouldn’t be minimized. Turning to a therapist can help you heal – and a therapist’s unbiased view may help you discover some emotional issues that contributed to the downfall of the relationship. Calling a therapist after a breakup may be more common than you think. According to Grow Therapy, over 80% of therapists reported having more clients begin therapy for the first time in 2023 than during previous years.
As you’re looking back at this relationship, it’s okay to use it as a teaching opportunity to make the necessary self-adjustments for next time. But don’t rush about grieving what might have been with your ex. Take the time you need to be kind to yourself, but when that time is past, face your future with confidence and pray your next relationship will be the right one for you.
